Thursday, August 11, 2011

Stupid Regulars: Part 1 | Hillbillies

Throughout my career as a server, I've had my fair share of freaks and complete morons. However, nothing is worse than someone who is a thorn in your side, who won't stop coming back. Especially on a daily basis, sometimes more than once daily.  I've had quite of a few of these types of people. I'll make this the first installment, and follow up with different types I've had to deal with in later posts.

Hillbillies: I had a couple who came in for dinner almost every night at my old job. I didn't have much of an issue with the lady, but her husband was the type who liked to maintain consistent cleanliness of his ears/nose/ass, etc. Not only did he pick at all of the aforementioned, but often I would see him pick at it with his keys, and proceed to take whatever substance happened to be there, and flick it across the room....Just...Eugh. How disgusting can you be, especially in a place where people eat.. This particular individual also liked to complain about the prices which, really, were borderline losing money with each order. These guys would order the breakfast special, which we had all day, and want specific things that don't normally come with it (pickle, tomato), and aren't free. In his mind they were, though, and he refused to pay for it. Every damn day. And the worst part of it is, I'm too nice of a person (pronounced 'I know where tips come from') to tell the guy off, so he thinks that I like him. And he makes a point of talking to me any time I'm not doing something right at that moment, which, if you've ever been a server, you'll know is a pain in the ass.

 But anyways, enough bitching about these people for now...I may add onto it later, depending on what I recall from them being in every day. Stay tuned for more Stupid Regulars arriving soon!

And remember...Don't piss off people who handle your food.


  1. EW lol.
    That is really fucking gross.

    keep up the stories!

  2. Jesus. I hate leaving a mess when eating out, let alone creating one via one of my various orifices. Do they tip well enough to let it go on? I like the idea of a stupid regulars section, though - keep it up!

  3. Ewwwww that's fucking disgusting haha picking his fucking body parts and eating that? That's elementary school shit hahahah

    Your stories are pretty damn entertaining keep 'em comin

  4. Lol silleh hillbillies.... I too hate leaving a mess i usually do a little clean of the table before i leave.

  5. Lol good read. where do you work exactly?

  6. Yep, I know what you guys can do to my food so I always try to be as nice as possible.